The kids and I are settling into our new normal, more or less, of what it is to be a family of four. I continue to work full time at a job that I love, love, love; Alexandra and Brooke and Caedmon are engaged each in their respective school and extra-curricular activities; our friend base and network of support is vast - thank you for loving us and for praying for us and for giving to us and for reaching out to us. We are blessed beyond measure! God's grace is poured out upon us in fullest measure and I am CERTAIN that is in large part due to your prayers. Thank you, thank you, one thousand times I thank you!
Here is a photo of Holly Bigelow winning a game of Settlers of Cattan:
Here is a photo of my sister-in-law Lisa McDonald
with two of my children and myself, at Avila Beach:
Here are some fun photos of a recent trip we took to visit friends at Hume Lake:
Lots of kids
Caedmon and Dylan, in LegoLand and Minecraft Paradise
Cassidy and Alex in the snow
Girls in the kitchen with Happy Saunders
Poor Dayton. This is what happens when he gives up his room to me and sleeps on the living room floor - The Attack of the Teenage Girls (notice the sticker on Dayton's forehead, placed while he tried to sleep).
Regarding the work of grief and the emotional tone in the Bigelow household - you may recall from previous posts that I have described myself as riding an emotional roller coaster. (Actually, if you know me at all, you know that this is true of me for the past 42 years. :-) This continues to be true of me in this season, although I am fortunate and grateful that I have not been overwhelmed with sadness to the point of being incapacitated and unable to carry on. God's grace is deep, and good, and amazing. I experience times of great joy and happiness, I experience times of contentment and peacefulness, sometimes I feel melancholy and lonely, and all of the time I am aware of my desperate need for more and more and more of Jesus to fill up my heart. My experience is perhaps similar to yours - we are alive. We need the LORD to fill us up. We are blessed beyond measure with provision and protection. We grieve the losses. We live one day at a time. And it is ever and always true - the LORD will never leave us or forsake us.
As for my children, they seem to me to be holding up alright. They attend school, they participate in their extra-curriculars, they hang with their friends, they are precious and unique and moody and wonderful and exasperating and fantastic (as teenage girls and an almost-pre-teen boy can be). Caedmon expresses sadness over DJ's absence the most - perhaps once or week or so he comes and puts his arms around me and cries a little. The girls are not very often expressive to me, and I sense the importance at this time of being present and available but not overly pushy in forcing them to tell their feelings. I ask for a check-in a few times per month. But we talk about DJ often as a family, and we laugh and we remember stories, and sometimes we cry. We are living one day at a time. As far as I can tell, they are doing as well as can be for this first three months since DJ went to be with Jesus. I don't really know for sure, but I pray and I trust that the LORD is at work. Feel free to pray for us. :-) And I know you do, and I thank you very much.
Here is a little gem that I read just this very morning from Jesus Calling - "My Peace is the treasure of treasures: the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace - everything going your way - you don't seek my unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world."
And another little beauty that I read recently in Streams in the Desert: "You will never learn faith in comfortable surroundings. God gives us His promises in a quiet hour, seals our covenants with great and gracious words, then steps back, waiting to see how much we believe Him. He then allows the Tempter to come, and the ensuing tests seem to contradict all that He has spoken. That is when faith wins its crown. This is the time to look up through the storm, and among the trembling, frightened sailors declare 'I have faith in God that it will happen just as He told me (Acts 27:25)'."
I wonder, my dear Reader, where your faith is being forged. How are you coming to know the Peace of God in deeper and more beautiful ways through your sadness and sufferings? Do you want to tell me? You can send me a little note at "hollybigelow@charter.net", if you are so inclined. :-)
Our friends Dave and Belinda Smith visited our home recently, and here are some photos from our time together:
And on the trip home from Hume last week,
I enjoyed a quick visit with my friend Yvonne Downs
and her boys Stephen and John:
The End, For Now. Thank You For Loving US!!!
