Initial Consultation with the Oncologist

Dear friends and family,

Today we were, spur-of-the-moment, able to meet with an oncologist.  Apparently he had the space in his schedule to spend almost 2 hours with us, which was good for gathering information - although somewhat overwhelming in the amount of information we were given.

The summary is that DJ's colon cancer is measured "Stage 3", and he is scheduled to begin chemotherapy treatments on May 17.  According to Dr. Bonis, DJ will have a port surgically inserted just below his collarbone in order for the treatments to be given more easily than an IV in the arm; he will sit for 3-4 hours every other week while the drugs are administered, and he will receive 12 treatments in total - which means that this process will last for 6 months.  Yikes!  I suppose we guessed, in our ignorance, that chemotherapy would range from 6-12 weeks; six months seems like such a long time.

Our brains and hearts are still processing what we heard and learned today.  Will you please pray that God will encourage DJ's heart?  It's a lot to take in and consider and plan for, not to mention to experience.

By the way, my sweet friend Sandra Stratman has organized helpfulness for our family via a website http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/c/625694/  If you are burdened with the desire to "do something" for us, that's a good place to start.  Well, that's a good place to go AFTER you pray; prayer is what we need most and best. 

Today I am singing Matt Redman's "Blessed be Your Name" in a new way.  I'm so grateful that my heart is filled with faith, and that these sad and difficult circumstances have not caused me to turn away from God.  On the contrary, I realize more and more how desperate for God's grace and love I am!  Thank you for your part in giving those to us; we feel God's love toward us through your love to us!  We love and appreciate you!

The end, for now - more later, when I can think "straight".  :-)

Here's a Shout-Out...

...to our good friend Matt Magnusson, shown here mowing our front lawn on Sunday; and to everyone who has cared for our children, organized meals and/or prepared meals for our family, taken up a collection to finance a paid housecleaning for me, brought our children to the hospital to visit while DJ and I were there last week, sent flowers and cards and text messages, come by to visit, and otherwise showered us with love and affection and support and care and concern.  We are blessed, beyond measure!  Muchas, muchas gracias! ;-)

Day by Day...

DJ's exciting field trip last Friday, April 23, 2010 (9 days post-op and 4 days after coming home from the hospital) was to visit Dr. Bolivar for a post-operative check-up.  Dr. Bolivar happily plucked 30+ stitches out of DJ's belly, while DJ winced and groaned and clenched his teeth in great discomfort.  I wish I had some of those pictures to post, or at least some photos of DJ with Dr. Bolivar.  Sadly, I'm not sure whether or not Dr. Bolivar desires the publicity he could receive here in this space of my web log; in addition, DJ is weary of my paparazzi-ness.  So you'll just have to imagine what the scene looked like.  :-)

DJ's field trip Saturday was to Brooke's softball game.  Here are some shots of us all (minus Caedmon) for that event.

One outing per day is about all that DJ's energy levels can put out.  I think he looks like a cross-country skiier here, coming and going, with his own blue cane plus Nanny's purple one.  :-)

Brooke preparing to bat.

Alexandra had just finished a "30-Hour Famine" with her youth group the night before; here she is showcasing "plumpy-nut", a mixture of peanut butter, powdered milk, and powdered sugar that World Vision feeds to malnourished children brought to their centers (and that was the first thing she and her fellow 30-Hour Famine-ers ate upon breaking their fast).  Thank you to everyone who prayed for her experience and made donations to help those who are suffering in Haiti.

DJ's healing is certainly a day-by-day process.  Sometimes he seems more energetic and making marked improvement; at other times, his pain is annoyingly present and he tires more easily.  Nevertheless, I am grateful for the gift of healing; I am thankful that God has created our bodies to not remain cut or broken or injured, but to be restored to health and well-being.  "Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved - for You are the One I praise."                      Amen, and The End!  :-)

Recovering at Home

(FYI, I have added some photos from our time in the hospital last week; rather than dumping them all into one post, though, I sprinkled the pictures throughout the days for which they chronologically match.  So if you want to see some images of our experience, browse through my last 5-or-so posts.)

Hello, Everyone, and thank you so very much for your continual support and love and care and concern for our family!  Today is DJ's day #8 post-op; we are home, and happy to be so.  DJ is recovering, slooooowly but surely - in inches, rather than in leaps and bounds.  He spends most of his time lying on the couch recliner with his belly stretched out - those 30+ staples holding his flesh together tend to pinch and poke and sometimes cut his skin if he brings his legs toward his body.  I encourage him to spend some time every day walking, as we did in the hospital, in order to promote healing and good digestion and vitality and life; and when DJ does walk, he does so with a cane.  For each of the three days since having returned home from the hospital, DJ has "enjoyed" a field trip or otherwise outing; and then come home to rest and recuperate.  On Tuesday we took Brooke to school; Claudia gave him concerned looks when DJ entered the office (I think she wanted him to be home resting).  On Wednesday we shopped for a walking cane as well as for some loose pajama-type pants and over-sized T-shirts in which he can be modestly yet comfortably clothed.  And today, after spending several hours working on a final term paper for his work with Duquesne University, DJ walked across the lawn at Winifred Pifer to attend part of Brooke's softball game.  Tomorrow's field trip is to visit Dr. Bolivar and have the surgical site inspected. 

We have received many lovely visits from you, our friends and loved ones; here is a picture of our friend Miller chitchatting with DJ this afternoon.  You are welcome to call ahead or to stop by; please remember that the charge nurse (that would be me!) may kindly escort you to the door after 15-or-so minutes in order that the patient may rest and recover.  But we love that ya'll give us so much love!

Perhaps I sound like a broken record, but I must say it again: Thank you, and thank you, and thank you so muchly much for the multitude of words of encouragement and prayer and love and concern that you are giving to us.  Thank you for the yummy food you are providing for us (it is wonderful to have that household management responsibility alleviated).  Thank you for blessing us and loving us and allowing God's grace and goodness to be given to us through you.

The end, for now.  xoxoxo "May the God of hope fill you (and us) with all joy and peace as we trust in God, so that we may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Aaaaa-men!  :-)

Happy Homecoming!

Hooray, hooray, oh happy day - DJ was released from the hospital last night and came home to us!  He took a shower and went to bed; and no one came to him in the middle of the night to take his vital signs, and no one came to him at 5:15 a.m. to draw blood for labwork or to give him a bloodthinning shot, and no IV machines beeped until the nurse came to check on "occlusion downstream" - and this morning I felt so "normal" :-) to be here getting kids ready for school and doing the dishes and being in our home with our family.  Hooray!  I am happy and hopeful and grateful for health and well-being, for the grace of God, for the body's ability to repair itself after injury, for the gifts of life and love!  :-)

(Don't tell DJ I told you so, but he is in the restroom just now, experiencing his first movement of the bowels post surgery.  This is a very good thing!  Thank you, God, for healing!)

I know I've written close to a thousand words this past week without posting any pictures; now that I've returned to my own PC and cable connectors, stay tuned for a photographic gallery of our journey.  :-)  Here's one image of his hospital room number, where we are not anymore!

Thank you SOOOOOOOOO much for loving us and supporting us and praying for us!  God's grace is adminsitered to us through you!  I am humble and happy and thankful. 

The morning report, my last from the hospital

Last evening, I took a walk outside and then spent some time typing the most recent post on the computer in the main lobby of the hospital.  Sometime during then, DJ was administered a dose of Benadryl with the intent to relax him self and hopefully cause the hiccup spasms to cease.  But when I returned to DJ's room at 6:50 pm, after just having reported to this blog how well he was progessing, he was having an awful reaction to the Benadryl:  he was dizzy and befuddled, restless and groggy, and continuing to spasm with the hiccups.  It was alarmimg for me to watch him in that agonized state for an hour or so, until he finally fell asleep and stopped hicupping.  Ai-yi-yi,  it seemed as if he had regressed to the first hours post-surgery; except that then at least he was so anesthetized that he slept mostly and was not spasming.  IT was a dark hour for me.

The patient in the adjoining bed had been released earlier, so the room was more spacious and it felt different; but my level of fatigue was peaking, and my belly was flip-flopping and churning in ways it has never done yet this entire journey.  When DJ fell asleep and stopped the hiccups at 8:00 pm, I prayed and prayed that he would stay sleeping, and that his bowels would move or his upper GI would function normally (or even that he would agree to the catheter-down-the-nose thing - anything so that he could be put out of this misery!)  He was peaceful for 30 minutes as he slept, but then he awoke at 8:30 pm and began to hiccup and toss-and-turn again.  It was yucky.

The nurse came in just before and discussed the options with DJ, who was still feeling groggy and unhappy with the Benadryl but was more coherent than he'd been the first hour after its administration.  He was non-too-eager for the tube-down-the-throat treatment (I'm not sure of its technical name); so he decided to push through the discomfort, hoping that the Benadryl would wear off soon and he would relax enough to cease the spasms and sleep.  When the nurse left the room, he asked me to request of my mother a suggestion for a natural remedy to rid one of hiccups; so I rode the elevator down to the very-empty main lobby and had a good cry on the phone with my mother!   (BTW, her "natural remedy" for getting rid of hiccups is to think about 9 bald men.  :-) Then I headed back to the room to see how DJ was progessing.  Just outside the door, his nurse told me that the hiccups had gone away, he was 100 per cent better, and he was watching television.  I walked into the room, and there he was, hiccup free and looking at Sports Center on ESPN.  I was amazed...and incredibly grateful.  Thank you, everyone, for praying against those darn hiccups!

He slept hiccup-free throughout the night, with a few bouts of getting up to use the restroom and walk the halls (walking, walking, walking is good for encouraging the bowels to do their thing). 

First thing this morning, he was wheeled to Diagnostics for chest x-rays so that Dr. Bolivar can take a looksee at his GI tract and gain some insight.  DJ has been quiet and subdued and resting, but he is not hiccuping.  Oh, how wonderful to not hiccup!

Dr. Bolivar telephoned DJ an hour ago, told him that his blood work (taken at 6:00 a.m.) looks normal, and has ordered for DJ to be disconnected from the IV machine (oh, happy day!) and given pain medication orally.  The IV is still in his vein, but he is disconnected from the wheeling machine and the tubes.  How free it felt to take a walk up and down the halls without tubes and the wheeling machine! 

So now the nurses will watch DJ for a spell to see how his system reacts to the oral pain medication.  It's possible that if he continues to do well, he may be released today (i wish, i wish, i wish!); or perhaps tomorrow if Dr. Bolivar sees something in the x-ray or if DJ doesn't groove well with the lack of intravenous fluid and medication administration.

So this is my last post from the hospital.  I've said "good-bye" to DJ for the day, and I'm going to drive away to Paso Robles, pick the children up from school, and then....not sure.  Be with them and give them mommy love; perhaps come back and visit their father; maybe bring him home; don't know. 

The end - gotta' go, so I'll be on time to retrieve Caedmon from Bearkittens!  Thank you SSOOOO MUCH for praying and loving us!

Post-Operative Day 4 from Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center

Hello, friends and family.  Here I am to report to you all who love and encourage us, regarding the last 36 hours of the life and times of the Bigelows:

Pathology Report: Dr. Bolivar visited with DJ at 8:30 p.m. Friday, as noted in the previous post.  He informed us that he took a cross-section of 22 lymph nodes from DJ's pelvic area, along with removing the cancer and part of DJ's colon.  The report from pathology indicates that 5 of those lymph nodes show cancerous tumors; so we will be referred to Dr. Bolivar's favorite oncologist to explore treatment options.  He suggested that chemotherapy is a likely recommended treatment, that one of the several methods of such treatment is through a port planted into the upper chest/sort of near the shoulder area, and that he could perform that procedure for DJ in an outpatient way if that's what we choose.  He mentioned that, with the advances in technology and whatever, if this had occurred 10 years ago, it would have been less hopeful, but that it is still a hopeful outlook.  He urged us, though, to focus right now on getting DJ recovered and out of the hospital, because possible cancer treatments are yet 4-6 weeks in the future.  I agree:  one thing at a time!  That reminds me of one of my favorites, "The Serenity Prayer:  God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference; living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace...trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.  Amen." 

DJ's recovery:  I am happy to report that the incremental steps of DJ's recovery continue, and even to increase to the next plateau.  Yesterday and today DJ was able to disconnect from the IV thing-a-ma-jig to shower; he was advanced from a "clear liquids" diet (apple juice, broth, jello) to an "all liquids" diet (cream of chicken and tomato soups, all juices, ice cream, yogurt, and pudding; DJ took full advantage of the pudding!).  He continues to walk laps up and down the halls of his floor several times per day, pushing his IV machine, and to more or less decrease the amount of pain medication (I call it the "happy push", since he has access to a hand-held device with a button that he pushes when he desires to have the pain lessen).  Decreasing the Dilaudid has allowed him to be more clear-headed and alert, which is appreciable.  He was hopeful to be released today, Sunday, and be allowed to go home; but that's not quite so just yet.

The kidlets: Alexandra, Brooke, and Caedmon have been cared for by various friends and family since Tuesday night, before we left early on Wednseday morning to come to Sierra Vista for the surgery.  I have remained with DJ for these days, but today the kids were brought by friends to the hospital to visit with us.  It was groovy to spend some time with them and to have them see DJ and know that he is going to be okay.  Brooke didn't want to look at it, but DJ showed his surgical site to Alex - a pretty gnarly sight, what with 18 staples and 3 staples and 2 staples and 3 staples across different parts of DJ's belly.  Wow.  We were very happy to spend some time with them.  They've returned to Paso Robles to the care of friends again, and I most likely intend to go home and be with them tomorrow even if DJ isn't released from the hospital.  Those are some cute kids!  We love them!

Hiccup trouble: The one glitch in DJ's recovery is that for the past 36 hours he has been experiencing annoying and painful spells of spasmodic hiccuping.  When Dr. Bolivar visited with us this evening, he speculated that the upper GI tract is not doing its job of digesting, thereby causing the hiccup spasms (DJ has not yet moved his bowels, if you know what I mean, since prior to the surgery).  Dr. Bolivar regressed DJ to the clear liquids diet, ordered chest x-rays, and is taking away the pain medication altogether (in hopes that any deadening effects it has upon the body will be reversed, so that the body will do its job properly).  He will look at the x-rays (tomorrow, I hope) in attempt to discern what's going on in there; and suggested a treatment of putting a tube down DJ's nose and pulling the "stuff" out of the stomach in order to stop the spasms (which are painful and probably disadvantageous to DJ's surgical site).  Other than that, he sees that DJ is ready to go home; but not with these hiccups.  So...will you please pray that DJ's digestive system will fully wake up and do its job, that his hiccups will quiet down so that he can rest, and that this would happen before Dr. Bolivar approaches DJ's nostrils with a catheter (Yikes!)!

Thank you, thank you: I can't say it enough:  we are so grateful and blessed by your countless prayers, words of encouragment and support, text messages, e-mails, phone calls, et cetera.  We are blessed by a beautiful team of "helpers" who have taken care of the children, come to the hospital to sit with me during DJ's procedure (I love you, Frisco!!),come to the hospital to visit while maintaining sensitivy to DJ's need for rest, brought meals to the house, brought the kidlets to us to visit, served Nanny, and been "on call" for whatever we ask for.  Here's a shout-out to ya'll!!  God's grace is abundantly supplied to us through you!  Thank you very much!

And that's the end, for now.  I'm going to go lie down and read a book, then go to sleep early tonight; my body is feeling the effects of lack-of-sleep and life in a hospital.  Thanks for reading and for caring!  xoxoxo

Miserable but "Great"

Well.  Here I am, camped out these three days at Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center in San Luis Obispo; acting as candy striper and advocate for my hunnybunny DJ!  The hospital staff have granted me a cot in DJ's room, and his roommate seems not to be disturbed by my constant presence; and I do not want to be anywhere else but right here for this time. 

The kidlets have been being cared for in Paso Robles by various friends and family members since Tuesday night; they seem to all be doing very well in our absence.  Caedmon is having so much fun with Dylan and the Saunders that I hope he remembers me when I return!  But that is a wonderful blessing - to be able to be completely focused here on DJ, knowing that the children are well cared for and well-adjusted. 

Here's a rundown of the past 3 days, if you are interested to know the details:  DJ has been in much pain and discomfort, both in his surgical site and internally as his digestion is attempting to awaken but has not completely done so yet.  It's a crazy reality when the wife, the nurses, and the doctor all cheer in celebration to know that he has passed gas - a painful but necessary experience for the surgery patient.  To combat the pain, he is administered a strong drug via IV, along with the saline and fluid solution continually flowing into his veins.  The Dilaudid helps to curb the pain, but the side affects are annoying and discomforting to him: groggy headedness, itchy skin, et cetera.  So he's trying to find a good place between self-medicating himself enough to manage the pain so that he can recover, but not doping up so much that he feels to be always underwater (not to mention itchy!)  He also feels lethargic and weak and ill; sometimes he has experienced a wave of nausea, but not too much.  He turned down an offer for an anti-nausea drug, since the list of side-effects sounded just as yucky as he already feels.  The entire post-operative process is taking much more time and agony than we anticipated, I suppose.  But his surgeon Dr. Bolivar has said each day of visiting DJ that he is recovering as well as is expected.  Last night he checked in at 8:30 pm (after having performed 4 scheduled and 3 emergency surgeries that day - yikes!!) and said that DJ is doing "great".  Poor DJ feels more miserable and invalid-ish than "great"; but having one's abdomen cut into in order to remove a mass of cancer as well as 12 to 14 inches of one's colon - well, what else should we expect!?!

The milestones that DJ has reached each day post-operative are as follows:  Wednesday - successful surgery, awkening from the aneshesia, admittance to a bed on the "Med/Surg" floor; Thursday - oxygen tubes-to-the-nose removed, 3 short walks to the nurse's station and back to bed; Friday - bladder catheter removed and self-urinating accomplished; 6 longer walks down the hall and back to bed; dressing removed and surgical sites approved by Dr. Bolivar, and passing gas accomplished (although painfully so).  Saturday (so far) - a shower!  Oh, I love a good shower!  I was happy to take one myself immediately after DJ bathed, just in this last hour, and I told him, "Oh, Sweetie, now you're recovery is going to speed up by 27%!!!"  DJ wasn't so enthusiastic about it as I was; but time will tell! 

His diet has been restricted to sips of water and little teeny sips of juice and little teeny bites of jello; the digestion takes time to wake up, and to put food into the system while it's still sleeping could cause great duress, even emergency.  Today will probably be more of the same "clear liquids" diet, perhaps to advance to broth and tea in the near future.  (What I want to know is, where exactly is the sushi that he ate at 9:00 pm on Tuesday, the night before the surgery?  :-).  I know that his lack-of-eating has much to do with his feelings of letheragy and weakness.  I also know that trying to sleep through the night, or even for 2 hours uninterrupted, is very difficult to do in a hospital. The staff of Sierra Vista are amazing and marvelous, but the nature of a hospital, and of the med/surge ward, is that something noisy and/or disruptive to one's sleep happens on a very regular basis. But the time here is obviously necessary.

Last night Dr. Bolivar told us that DJ will perhaps be released from the hospital on Sunday or Monday, depending upon how he continues to recover.  I'm considering having Alex and Brooke brought to the hospital to visit their father, because I think that seeing them would lift his spirits and grant encouragement tohis heart.  Today I will try to convice the charge nurse that a visit from the daughters will be therapy for DJ and will hasten his recovery! 

Stay tuned for a post explaining what we've learned from the pathology report regarding the cancer (I've been down here in the lobby for 20-or-so-minutes now, and I'd like to return to DJ's bedside.  I'm the advocate, and the candy striper, you know!)

I must say it again and again: THANK YOU so very much for praying for us and sending us your love and affection and well-wishes! Please continue to pray that DJ will be strengthened and encouraged and patient and hopeful as he perseveres through the discomfort and sadness of recovery; last night he had several bouts of violent hiccup attacks that annoyed and hurt him.  Sometimes when he feels restless and groggy, not able to focus on reading or even on watching ESPN, he likes to have a brief telephone conversation to occupy the time; so feel free to give a call (I turn the phone off when he is asleep).

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  "May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with you all."  Amen, and The End.

P.S.  Today is Brooke Bigelow's 9th birthday!  If you feel so inclined, will you give her a telephone call at home and tell her that you're glad she was born?!  DJ and I will celebrate with her next week when are reunited.  Muchas gracias!  :-)

We walked the halls and visited the nurses' station

(at 4:00 a.m. - notice the clock on wall of the background),

 in attempt to rid DJ of hiccups.

Post-Operative Update, from Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center

(These photographs were taken just before 6:00 a.m. on Wednesday, April 14, as DJ was being prepared for surgery.)

Hello, everyone-whom-we-love!  I feel blessed and sustained and undergirded and supported by your love and prayers and expressions of love and affection and concern.  Thank you! (I have sent and received more text messages today than ever in my whole digital life!)

At 6:15 a.m., DJ was wheeled away from me to the "downstairs", into the basement bowels of the hospital where surgery and recovery occur.  His surgery took longer than Dr. Bolivar anticipated, and was a little more tricky, but successful.  The tumor was slightly larger and more irregularly shaped than the surgeon thought it would be, but he is confident that all of the cancer in the colon was removed; he did not see any other tumors anywhere else; and he also removed a bunch of lymph nodes, as well. 

DJ spent 3 1/2 hours in recovery, a couple hours longer than the volunteer nursing staff projected; I have learned that that was due to high blood pressure which stabilized when his surgical-site pain lessened.  He has been in a hospital room since 4:00 p.m. at which time I was able to join him.  He is mostly in a state of groggy stupor now, "awakening" every 20-or-so minutes to request a sip of water or assistance in changing positions.  Tubes are everywhere.  He looks a bit jaundiced and as if he is very ill; but he is alive and stabilized!  Dr. Bolivar told me that he supposes DJ will be ready to go home by Sunday-ish, perhaps Saturday or Monday.

My precious friend Yvonne came unexpectedly from Fresno to wait with me while DJ was in surgery and recovery.

T-Minus Twelve, and Counting...

How To Spend the Weekend Before Cancer-In-The-Colon-Ectomy:

Watch Phil win the Master's with your buddies Joe and Bob

What to do the night before surgery:

Eat sushi!! 

Smile for the camera!!  :-)

Thank you for your love and prayers

Dear Friends and Family,  I want to express my heartfelt thanks to you each for the love and support and prayers that you have shown to us and offered on our behalf regarding DJ's health and upcoming surgery.  I am sure that you are each a part of the administration of God's grace to us, and I am so grateful!  Overall, we are happy and healthy and hopeful, here in the Bigelow home.

Last week, our family enjoyed a lovely time on holiday in San Diego, California, with my sister LaRae and her family; and now we are "preparing", more or less, for DJ's surgery next Wednesday April the 14th.  He shaved his head in anticipation of spending some days in the hospital, so that he won't ever have "bed head" while recovering there; but really he shaved his head because he knows how much I looooove the bald heads!  (I also love the grey hair!)  Here are some funny photos of DJ and his hair/head, along with pictures of our family on vacation.  I'll post something more to this venue when there is something exciting to report, perhaps on the day of the surgery, or soon thereafter.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you some more for upholding and loving and supporting and encouraging us!