Peace that passes understanding

Peace.  I love it.  It's not necessarily the cessation of war and strife and problems and difficulties, but it is an inner calm, a quiet trusting, a deep knowledge that nothing can separate me from God's love and grace and presence.  Peace is un-anxiousness.  And when people who hear of DJ's past cancer and his current nodule look at me with concern and ask me, "How are you, Holly?", I don't know how to convey how marvelously un-anxious I feel.  And, I wouldn't trade such peacefulness for a million bucks.  :-) 

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not worry about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, sisters and brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things...And the God of peace will be with you."

Yahoo for the peace of God!  Hooray that the God of peace is with me!  That's the One I want.  :-)

Just for kicks, here's the scripture passage afore-quoted in a different version, from "The Message" Bible:

"Celebrate God all day, every day.  I mean, revel in God!  Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them.  Help them see that the Master is about to arrive.  He could show up any minute!  Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life...Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

(Philipppian 4:4-9).

May the peace of God and the God of peace be with you!  :-)  xoxoxo from HollyB

Brooke's Birthday and DJ's Cyber Knife consultation

Hello, there!  Thank you for visiting us here, and for caring for and loving and supporting the Bigelow family!

Brooke (no-middle-name) Bigelow celebrated ten years of life on April 17, 2011.  In lieu of a birthday party as such, she requested an ice skating excursion with some of her favorite friends.  It just so happens that the ice-skating rink that I could locate closest to lovely Paso Robles is in Fresno, California, the very same town in which radiation oncologist Dr. Wong of the California Cancer Center is located.  And since DJ had an appointment scheduled to consult with Dr. Wong, we decided to make the day a par-tay!  Three families consisting of fifteen people folded ourselves into two motor vehicles and made our way to the booming metropolis of Fresno! First stop, "The Mall"; the tweens, pre-teens, and teenager present were veeeery excited about "The Mall" (me, not so much)!  After a little bit of mall wandering and lunch at the Food Court, we dropped DJ off at Community Medical Center and made our way to the ice skating rink.  After hours of ice skating fun, we rejoined DJ and enjoyed a lovely meal (in "that part of town") at DiCicco's Italiano Ristorante.  How blessed we are to enjoy fun times with friends and family!  After a stop for ice cream and a "Happy Birthday!" song for Brooke, we made our way home to lovely Paso Robles and fell exhausted into bed!  Whew!

Brooke and her friends

Alex and friend

Brooke and DJ

"May I have some bread, please?"  :-)

Due to the exciting nature of the ice skating party, I was unable to accompany DJ to his consultation with the radiation oncologist.  Therefore, everything I have to report to you is second hand, and here is what DJ told to me - Dr. Wong agrees with DJ's oncologist Dr. Spillane, that the nodule in his lung may be cancerous and should be removed from his body.  The cyber knife procedure was explained to DJ, but Dr. Wong would like a biopsy of the nodule before proceeding.  At only one centimeter in measurement, the nodule may be very difficult to reach and test with a biopsy; so for now we will "wait and see" a little bit more.  DJ is scheduled for a repeat CT scan on May 2, almost 8 weeks after his March 8 CT scan.  At that point, additional decisions will be made.  DJ explained to me the steps of preparing for and receiving the targeted radiation "cyber knife" procedure, but I'll wait to tell you more until I am more familiar with it all myself.  I'm going to telephone the Cyber Knife people and ask if the video that DJ watched in the doctor's office is available to me online - I want to know the details!

It's likely, then, that we will be making some trips to Fresno in the near future; and that's not so bad!  For one thing, two hours to Fresno is half the distance of the 4 hours to Los Angeles (if we had decided to travel there for additional opinions and options); and Fresno is still closer to us than Stanford Medical Center; besides all that, I have dear and precious friends that reside in Fresno, California!  What's more, if the cyber knife surgical alternative is what DJ chooses and experiences, he was informed that the recovery time after the final radiation treatment is a mere 24-hours (compared to how long it takes the body to return to normal health after being sliced-and-diced in such a surgery).  Also, if the local surgeon were to open DJ up and remove and re-sect the lower part of his pulmonary lobe, DJ might have future troubles with long-distance exercising - and I'm pretty sure he wants to crank out a couple more half-marathons in his time!  So, for what partial information we now possess, the cyber knife procedure seems to be a lovely alternative to typical surgery.  We shall see!

I don't like to consider this possibility, but being a realist is wise and healthy, I do believe:  if the nodule reveals itself as malignant, there is a chance that DJ would be prescribed additional chemotherapy.  I don't like it, I'm not going to consider it at this time, but I recognize that it's a possiblility in the future.  But we are not yet in the future, we are only here in the present!  So let's all live one day at a time and be grateful for the gift of today and pour out our affection on the people whom we love and let go of the small stuff and forgive and love and hope and dream and breathe and be happy in the present!  Yessireee, that's my plan!  :-)

Thank you for praying for us and for loving us and for reading my ramblings.  :-)  May the LORD bless you indeed!

Caedmon and DJ

I write and post this with love and affection xoxoxo from HollyB

Life as Usual

Howdy, Folks!  I thank you for caring and praying for us - you have done such a great job of seeking the grace of God on our behalf that I have almost forgotten about DJ's nodule!  That is to say, the topic of conversation rarely has been discussed between us these past couple weeks - "life as usual" overtakes the Bigelows.  DJ is working full time and acting as assistant coach for both the Paso Robles High School mens' volleyball team as well as for Brooke's Paso Robles Girls' Softball League team; he is also studying to obtain a Master's Degree through an online program with Duquesne University (and he has an end-of-the-term project due tomorrow). Since he has no symptoms of ill health or outward indication of a one-centimeter pulmonary nodule, well, it is "life as usual"!  :-)

Holly B and DJ (wearing a flowery apron)

Here is a brief update on DJ's condition:  Dr. Spillane the oncologist drew blood and tested DJ for infection and/or fungii, a.k.a. "Valley fever".  The results of that were negative.  Still not knowing what the nodule is for certain, DJ has not rushed away to surgery, but he would like some additional opinions of the issues at hand.  So we are scheduled to meet next Tuesday, April the 19th, with Dr. Wong, a radiation oncologist with the California Cancer Center in Fresno, California.  I am hopeful and confident that this will give us more information and advice, and that DJ will be filled with wisdom to know what is the best course of action (although I am sad that my super-good friend Yvonne will be away from her Fresno home on a trip).

Here is a photographic image of our eldest daughter Alexandra, who is growing into a beautiful person!  She is beginning to babysit quite a lot, which is groovy for her since she likes having a source of income.  Last Friday, I waited up past 11:00 p.m. for her to return home from a job - which is well past my bedtime.  I experienced flashbacks of my own adolescence, when my momma would wait up for me to come home from a babysitting job.  Ai-yi-yi, how did this kid grow up so quickly? 

Brooke Bigelow is fully engrossed in the softball season; her favorite position to play is pitcher, and her coach often positions her suchly.  I think that she is fantastic in the role as catcher, as well.  Softball keeps us busy!  Fun family times :-).

Caedmon lost 3 teeth in a matter of four days; here he posed for me, to show that all he wants for Christmas is his 2 front teeth. He is counting down the days until spring break from school (next week), and until his buddy Dylan is finished playing baseball and summer vacation arrives. 

Mildred Crabtree, a.k.a. "Nanny", has been busy setting out flowers on the front porch, now that the freezing temperatures of winter are behind and the hint of spring is in the air.  You can't see the dwarf Meyer lemon tree to her right, just beyond the camera's vista, or the little rose plant.  Nanny loves her flowers!

I say it everytime I post, and it continues to be true:  I thank you muchly for your love and care and support and affection for our family.  I will continue to post to this blog (according to my own special timeline!) to keep you updated and informed on our happenings.  The end, for now!

P.S.  It was one year ago today, April 14, 2010, that DJ experienced surgery to remove the cancer from and to resect his colon.  See how we are blessed and graced!  Thank You, Lord!  :-)